Sunday, January 18, 2009

Lemon in a Bag

Andrea at Swamp Suburbia awarded me this Lemonade Stand for always presenting a positive outlook. Thanks!

Do I? I sure hope so. I always try to see the best of everything, because it's too easy to get depressed and discouraged. Thank you very much for the award and I will try to live up to it as much as humanly possible.
Randomly, I did a google search on making lemonade and I found a job site recommending starting your own business at 50. What do you do when your money tree gives you lemons? Lol.
However, what do you do when your money tree won't even give you lemons?? I'm still trying to figure that out. Any ideas?
My economics teacher says that there are 3 assumptions to economics:
  1. People are rational. Even the drug addict is rational when he steals to buy drugs. He knows he wants and needs the drugs and if he steals he can get money to buy drugs.
  2. People respond to economic incentives. If I tell you to move or I'll punch you in the stomach, you'll move. Right?
  3. Optimal decisions are made at the margin. When you go to McDonalds to buy a cheeseburger you decide to buy one. But you're still hungry, so you buy another one. The next time you go to McDonalds, you'll buy two because you know you can eat two. In other words, these are "spur of the moment" decisions.

I don't know where I'm going with this, but I thought it was kind of interesting to know that economics isn't just about business. It's about everyday life too. The only constant in life is change. Change can be uncomfortable. That's where I'm at. I am going through changes. I face difficult decisions on a daily basis and I need to be strong and have faith in the Lord that everything is going to work out for the best one day, even though I can't see it that way right now. They say that God closes a door and opens a window. I believe that. However, my fear is that the window isn't big enough to get through. Help!

When I lost my job, I immediately signed up for classes. I've been taking college classes for many years now, only one to three a semester, while working full time. I still need eight classes to get my Associate's Degree in Pre Management. However, I am only allowed to take six classes this semester and the work load is overwhelming! I am a procrastinator by nature and my self esteem is at an all time low. I don't know if I can do this. If I drop a class that just means my degree is further away. However, I cannot graduate this semester anyway, so what does it matter if I add a class to my summer schedule?

I am enrolled in a tax class so that I can volunteer to prepare taxes this season. I took my first test in the class and didn't do so well. Jeez, that's a blow, since I thought I had an affinity for it. I want to give to the community, if I can, and I thought it would look good on my resume. I could drop this class- should I? I'm halfway through the class already and then I only need to volunteer 15 - 30 hours.

I need to know that soon I will succeed in getting a job that will pay enough to cover my living expenses. I am living on my savings and credit right now. I collect unemployment, but I will have to pay taxes on that money! How much will I owe and how will I pay it? Arrgh! I wish I were stronger in body, mind, and spirit. Lord help me...

Sometimes the hardest part in life is going through it alone. I have my kids, my mom, my friends, my animals...but no one to really confide in and help me. I miss my husband so much at times like this. No one can gave me support like he could. Anyone who is married, give your spouse a special hug today, and tell them, "thank you for being there".

Every day, I read from the book, A Calendar of Wisdom: Daily Thoughts to Nourish the Soul, Written and Selected from the World's Sacred Texts by Leo Tolstoy. Didn't you always want to read a book from Leo Tolstoy, one of the greatest authors in history, but thought War and Peace was just too long and wordy? Now you can. Tolstoy considered this book to be his greatest work. He spent almost fifteen years compiling and writing it in his last years. Censored for nearly a century, it is a day-by-day spiritual guide.

One of today's lessons are:

"A scholar knows many books; a well educated person has knowledge and skills; an enlightened person understands the meaning and purpose of his life."

I like the text from January 3:

"When I am in difficult circumstances, I ask God to help me. But it is my duty to serve the Lord, and not His to serve me. As soon as I remember this, my burden becomes lighter."

Of particular meaning to me right now is a verse from November 23,

"The question of life's meaning is a difficult problem which cannot be solved. So, too, is the question, "Why did God send us into this world?" But the meaning of life becomes very simple when a person asks himself, "What should I do?" '

Lemon in a Bag - song: Watch that Man, artist: David Bowie, album: Aladdin Sane


Andrea said...

Hooray, I am glad you got your award!! I really enjoy reading your blog!! And just think in not so many months, you will have a foal!! YEAH!!

And school sounds like a lot!! I am sorry. It's a lot of work, but it will be sooooo worth it!! Keep up the good work!!

I have a thought on the question, "Why God Sent us to this earth." I think he wanted us to learn. He wanted us to experiance life and to gain knowlege. He wanted us to live. To have families, and to grow, to love and to be happy. And just think when times are rough, God knows exactly how we feel. He knows us and loves us and really wants us to be happy. Oh dear, I am getting a bit sappy!!

Smile, be happy, and keep on learning!! You are a wonderful mom and a great friend, Lisa tells us all so!! I hope you have a wonderful eveing!!

And I can't believe you came up with a song title for the Lemonade Award!! So fun!!

The Wades said...

I agree with Andrea--I love reading your blog. I am so sorry for your hurting heart. I will keep you in my prayers. The struggles you are going through make my stomach ache just reading them. I am sending the hugest hug your way!

:) Michelle

Fantastyk Voyager said...

Thanks for the support. I need it right now.
I try not to dwell on the past or think too much about the future. Today is a gift from God, that's why it's called the present. :)

Melanie said...

Oh Val...I am sorry that life is so difficult right now. When it comes to school and everyday life, there definitely has to be some kind of balance, and it sounds like you have lost yours.
Do whatever you need to do to make life enjoyable and bearable again.
Would a summer class be that bad??? I know what it's like to almost be done though, and about wanting to go back to work to earn money so bad that you can taste it.

If you don't mind me asking, what happened to your husband? I didn't realize that yours was not with you.

PS-I was going to pass the lemonade award on to you, until I saw the title of your post!!!

Laughing Orca Ranch said...

'What should I do?' actually sounds less simple.

There are too many forks in the path to choose from, each with a different outcome. And sometimes the choices we make, end up differently than expected.

I like what you said about not dwelling in the past or thinking too far into the future. Life changes too much and too fast that the plans we make now may not even be appropriate for the future.

Living in the present, while making a few goals for the future is a more wise thing to do.

I'm so sorry you're going through such a tough time right now, Val. It makes me feel so helpless that I'm not able to do anything to ease your burdens.
At least before my fall, I could tempt you with a horse ride to get your mind off your troubles.

You've got a lot of burdens on your shoulders right now and noone to give you a break and carry them for a while.
I'll take your advice and be grateful for my grouchy, impatient husband because at least he does help, although not always willingly. lol!

Just remember, that God is there to help carry your burdens, too. Let go...and Let God.

Life is all about changes, some more difficult to go through than others.
This is your time of change, my friend. Try not to think about the difficulties, but about the opportunities.
Don't build too many challenges, like insurmountable walls to climb, or life will seem even more difficult.
Even though you are one tough, independant woman, right now you are feeling fragile, too.

Putting so many pressures on yourself could be detrimental to your confidance, your energy, even your health.
Sometimes small successes are better than the large ones. You might consider taking smaller bites instead of ginormous gulps.

What do they say? "Slow and steady wins the race"

Of course, only you know what your abilites are and your tolerance level is, so just do what feels right.
Pray for God's divine wisdom, my friend.

And if you ever need to talk, I'm here to just listen.


Fantastyk Voyager said...

Thanks for the words of support, everyone.